This Is ME

Especially for you

2012-01-25T21:42:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk-9758JHVk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

posted from Bloggeroid

One of your favourite song

2012-01-25T16:00:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIXpqnpfRks&feature=youtube_gdata_player

posted from Bloggeroid

Happy in sadness..

2012-01-13T14:11:00.001+08:00

130112..its friday again!!!!
15 more days,aku akan digelar tunang orang...seseorang yang aku tidak pernah impikn,seseorang yang aku tidak pernah fikir akn pulang balik ke hidupku apatah lagi seseorang yang tidak pernah terlintas akan menjadi suri di hatiku.banggakah aku gembirakah aku?
Nama mu yg ku ujar2 sepanjang hayatku malah namamu juga yg ku tangis-tangiskan.tetapi itu hanya satu mimpi sahaja.kau lalu terus pergi dgn si dia..perempuan yang engkau kata hanya seorng kawan semata-mata.

posted from Bloggeroid

Di atas satu cinta

2012-01-04T02:30:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR4mNgexmPo&feature=youtube_gdata_player

For that special one...

posted from Bloggeroid

2012-01-04T02:25:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqtap9F7sVc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

posted from Bloggeroid

I tried..

2011-12-01T13:57:00.001+08:00

I still insisted tt im strong but when comes to him,i wld break dwn n cry just like tap water running down the sink..im just miss him badly thou i with din n even though i with din i still think of him..n everyday i wld pray to remove him frm my heart so tt i cn live lik i always been..but no..first ting in my mind first thing is him...pls forgive me..i tried..

Pls dnt let me go

2011-11-28T01:31:00.001+08:00

I dreamt of him again..woke up in tears..in my dream he said he willing accept me again if i promise to get marry to him asap..i was pleading to him!!look how pathetic i am but this is me..i know u r happy out there..thou i tried so hard but i kept hving u in my dream..tt was how strong my feeling for u,thou its been months..i hope r doing good...im glad u do..

U again.

2011-11-14T00:22:00.001+08:00

121111 i thought i wld be strong but yet agaib when i c u tears rolled down my cheeks..oh my...when will it end?..

posted from Bloggeroid

What a day to begin..

2011-11-12T08:42:00.001+08:00

Basking myself in. the moisture airy morning..its been a while that I have that feelings. E day had just passed,it so wonderful..realized that im breathing e past 2 days..n now chalet days..im going to.enjoy it while it last...

posted from Bloggeroid

Thanks but no thanks

2011-11-09T00:32:00.001+08:00

Im scared but do u care.. all u know u cn vent ur anger as much as you want..
Tell u what im out...
I cn be nice..but i cn be mean too

posted from Bloggeroid

Beribu sesalan

2011-11-07T15:31:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shQSJyW9Brs&feature=youtube_gdata_player

posted from Bloggeroid

kamu...

2011-08-20T06:26:00.000+08:00

raya is coming!!!....sebak perasaanku ketika ini memikirkn takbir raya yg ku bakal mendengar tidak lama lagi..berbagai kenangan akan terlintas bagaikn petir dilangit sebar ke bumi..knangan ini tidak dapatku lupa..tabkir inila yg kita akn nangis sambil mendengar ceritamu atas pujian arwah bapamu..walaupn arwahnye
tidak ku kenal tapi pujianmu untuk nye dapat ku rasa brape kagumnye mu terhadapnye.brape kagumnye atas kejayaanmu dan cintamu atasnye..adakah kenangan ini bersamaku akan kamu sentiasa kenangkn...haizzz...smuanye
adala kenangan..sayang sekali..entah dengan siapa akan ku tangiskn takbir ini..

dead but breathing

2011-08-09T05:01:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of you.a dream i wished i wont wake up from.a dream that i wished that was real.a dream that i hoped that would lasted for forever.i cried the whole day.my body was so weak that i struggled to stand up.my mind was nothing but you.people called me stupid for crying over spill beans. i cried my heart out,begging HIM to please return you to me..i beg him again and again.That was how desperately i want you back..
all had to end..
I had plan to go far from here,somewhere that dont remind me of you,the road,the mall,cinema,the night outing, the short getaway..
sometime i just want to end everything just by letting go of my hand on the speedy bike, so that i could just fall and end in an accident and turns vegetable.That was how i wanted so much you out from my life.

hes not that perfect

2011-08-07T16:24:00.000+08:00

Its been awhile..i hope you doing good..im doing fine but theres up and down that wasnt easy to tackle.Work have been wonderful for me well i take things easy and lightly.
Din,,,he not a perfect guy i thought he is. Waking up late, tantrum when ever i talked to a guy,on bike or car, i always pray that we end up in an accident so that he will realize and regret which will be too late.a control and self-center guy.i couldnt do things on my own..and i miss that most about myself..
i just miss been me..Hanging with friends,smsing long smses with all,chit chatting on phone..many things i was deprive of doing..i tried to accpet his flaws.and im still trying..
i miss you badly..

Owe diary

2011-07-16T01:09:00.000+08:00

dear you,
not you..e other you..
its sad that things ended this way.something that we wouldnt want it this way..something that we dont dreamt of or wished for..we parted ways ever since that day.alas you confessed but things went out of hand and we drifted away. I regret for actions but i wished you all the best and i hope you are fine and happy.

marriage is good

2011-07-14T09:05:00.000+08:00

Im envy my friends who hd chose to lead a second cycle of life- that called marriage. Some of them are either engaged or married at 23.What were they thinking?Are they ready for this life?i wondered..but they had my utermost respect and envy for they are brave enough to take a diffcult path at the young age..
Marriage is agreement,which two hearts agree and vow to love,care,respect and go through thin and thick together. A marriage is something i believe i would want to share and believe he is the one for me,who understand and believe me for me,and no one else.
and i do believe he is a good man apary from all the bad things he had done..May only HE beable to forgive you..

well spent wkend!!!...

2011-07-11T07:17:00.000+08:00

a well-spent wkend..really enjoying myself after so long..bbqing,laughing,fishing and cleaning..n im so looking forward for the third wk since school reopen,i dont need to prepare teaching aids..yeah!!!i dont need to be so frust and upset.....
i miss you but let it stay this way..kak emalia was also shocked with your sudden engagement and she asked ne why and how can it happend. i told her my part but its all up to her to decide..
Din, been treating me good..he is nice..

yeah!!..

2011-07-04T17:08:00.000+08:00

youth day!!!!yeah!!!holiday for me...yeah!!rest day for me...got so many things that i wanted to do..wash the toilet and most impt ly the room..kinda stand the puking smell..what had they done to the room...

and so i unfriend her in the fb..telling her that she reminded me of her bro....so as to tell you people knew i still love you and miss you alots..for whatever i do wit din remind me of you...its ok i know you will start to think otherwise just to hate me but im fine with it afterall u r not tt mature anyway..
lesson learnt: dosa dgn Allah bole diampun tapi dosa sesama insan payah utuk diampun..slagi maaf mu tidak dterima. walau seberapa byk amal u buat pn...
i forgive u for doing this to me..and its enough k..u have no right to say to me..cz we r no longer together...promises that we promise??it is no longer a promise that are meant to fuilfill since u cheated on me...
if u still dnt think that was you cheated on me...then its ok...rememeber the last sentence when u say u wanted to focus on your work n not us...u think..maybe all ur friends will think that you are doing something proud for leaving me but you think again...

busy busyy...

2011-07-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

Hi there!!!hope you are doing perfectly fine as i was expected..anyway im been busy with work...ever since the school reopened, been having a hectic life,been sleeping for 5 hrs the most.i had to be in school by 715am to prepare K1 lesson plans.i will be in charge of preparing materials for the lessons. for the next 3 weeks!!!....It not that easy as i was expecting but it is more to preparing my own materials for the lesson,than
just reusing last year ones...but its a learning things for me as i had to do research to come up with new ideas to make a new material for the lesson.

Belle had decided to quit as she had moved back to JB, So she left a heavy burden on me...im be in charge of the counter and admin work, which means more work for me...!!!!!!...im coping well..its just getting more and more execited for me...

busy busyy...

2011-07-03T23:12:00.000+08:00

Hi there!!!hope you are doing perfectly fine as i was expected..anyway im been busy with work...ever since the school reopened, been having a hectic life,been sleeping for 5 hrs the most.i had to be in school by 715am to prepare K1 lesson plans.i will be in charge of preparing materials for the lessons. for the next 3 weeks!!!....It not that easy as i was expected but it more to preparing my own materials for the lesson,than
just reusing last year one...but its a learning things for me as i had to do research to come up with new ideas to make a new material for the lesson.
Belle had decided to quit as she had moved back to JB, So she left a heavy burden on me...im be in charge of the counter and admin work, which means more work for me...!!!!!!...im coping well..its just getting more and more execited for me...

[SG Lovers] Hyun Bin - That Man (Eng-Sub)

2011-06-26T14:41:00.000+08:00

1.46am an hour later

2011-06-23T09:55:00.000+08:00

It 2 .46 in the morning, a very weird timing of the day..so many things had happened.So many confession going on..I should had waited for him.I hurt him unknowingly.Regret!!!...regret for not waiting for him,hes all that i wanted and now its too late..i felt like digging a grave for myself!!!

1.46am

2011-06-23T09:46:00.000+08:00

It 1.46 in the morning,suppose to be asleep n u r on my mind

thank you for the advices

2011-06-20T03:23:00.000+08:00

"abah pasang niat" that what my dad said when we celebrated father's day yesterday. His wish was to able to spoonfeed his children,future son-in laws and daughter-in-laws with the cake. YOU suddenly came to my mind,he said the same thing when we are still together. tears rolled down but i was quick to react, again YOU YOU YOU again..
To me,theres nothing for you to believe,theres no need for me to do anything to gain your trust,what im going to be or do in future,nothing got to do with you,theres no need to be sad or dissapointed in me. we are nothing..

p/s even if i was beaten to death or anything,nothing to do with you..i chose to lead this bitter life.
thank for your advices.im doing good..
imy fyi..

thank you for the advices

2011-06-20T03:10:00.000+08:00

heated argument

2011-06-15T13:59:00.000+08:00

we had a heated argument, he suddenly stop the car at the expressway and start to bang on the steering wheel and windows.i felt like running away far away from him.i have never seen him before behaving hysterically..OMG!!i managed to calm him down,i cant believe myself having a boyfriend who is so different from my exs,other than Fahmy who is brave enough to jump from 2nd level from his house,and now i trying to think 2 years down the road,will he be the same??

tummy killing me slowly!!!

2011-06-14T09:57:00.000+08:00

i dont know when and how its started but please stop it coz u r slowly killing me..i dont means to disobey but meeting mr medcine is scary and moreover its a waste of time if the reply going to be "r u engage in any intercourse?" or "or r u pregnant?"like what the fuck.might as well i nurse myself...sleep and rest at home which i been doing so the past two weeks..so please stop it and let me enjoy my morning and night session with peace and happy..thank mr stomach and please be kind..

cant sleep

2011-06-07T11:17:00.000+08:00

i cant sleep.its 5 in the morning.been thinking so much.i dont know..i cant get u out of my head.been thinking what have i done to deserve this mess.i felt like a pathetic fool putting a brave front each day.look how pathetic i can be!!.i dnt want to depend on pills!!..need to put a stop on that..
how much i wanted to forget you but i just cant and i wonder how long i can put up with this..

still hurt

2011-06-05T21:49:00.000+08:00

going out with azmil n yati was awesome but kind of sad whatever that we talked about bring flashback of us unknowingly..it was sad and hurt esp all the texts recently.what is it about,i will keep to myself.
i miss you very much..body been very slow and tired,weary.hold on while i still can..as promised i will update about myself, hope you too at ur blog.

dear mr lalaland

2011-06-02T19:43:00.000+08:00

oh goodnesa its thursday morning and new beginning of the day,why do i have to think of you??
Dear Lalaland,if its true that we are not meant for each other but why do i have to keep dreaming of him? I kept dreaming of him,patching up with him and getting married.a happy ending for me.But why with this dream?..haizz..it makes me miss him even more.Please I just want to move on,learn to let go after all the hurt I been through,it is enough..Please help me with it..

for you

2011-06-01T21:19:00.000+08:00

im not going to do so cz unlike you i wnt make decision for the wrong reasons.claiming that you still miss me when u r engaged!!fuck ok..!!
theres limit to my patience..ur house number is still vivid in my mind,i wont hesitant to give your mum a call.dnt think you blocks me and ur tua fiance fb blocks people from viewing.i cant do a thing.pls think again cz im not a small kid anymore who is afraid of doing things..not anymore!!..stop it before i totally turns nasty and do something that end ur everything.. hate you is more than enough.

haidir

2011-05-30T23:40:00.000+08:00

so it was a lie frm start

hmmmmm

2011-05-28T09:44:00.000+08:00

He talks about engagement..so that he can apply for house.engagement to me is a waste of money..i dont wished to get engage end up spending like hundred $ or more for just a 1 hr of ceremony.Its really waste of money,but thinking again im afraid that he might think that i do not wants to commit.that how i lost haidir. haiz..how i wished i had the $ that point of time so i dont have to wait till my school ended.now that im offially graduated he is engaged .i do not knows what to do,if he leave me too then i thinks that the end of my story on love.

26

2011-05-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

thou its over but i still remember this very date..how we use to wished each other except the last months when
we finally ended all.
we used to text each other how fortunate we are having each other with the busy schd,constant argument,constant disagreement,how we able to withstand each other pms..oh my..i miss all that..
all the crying and fighting,i dont remember it much on how and why it all started.apart that 1 day was the most devasting and heartbreaking moment i wont be able to forget thou i forgive.its mean nothing to you diyana,but always know that friendship stands above all..thou we r not close i still respect you till that day..
8 years down the drain..sad but that the reality..

Finally over yo!!!!

2011-05-27T00:15:00.000+08:00

graduation over!!!so proud of myself i finally sucess in achieving a diploma at least.i made not only myself but my family proud too..as i walked to my family at the convention center,my mum and bro smile,how happy i was.i am the first diploma holder in the house.
you r not there with me,how proud you will be as the principal handed the scroll over to me.i remember meeting you,your mum,your aunt after my class.oh boy i so proud of you..but ...i cried..silly of me..he had moved on..
i miss you badly!!...;(
while you enjoying,here im trying to find love again..

lost my love

2011-05-22T07:21:00.000+08:00

You said that he is just playing around with me but i beg to differ,cz if he is that kind he wont be so engross in me.but its ok just let time say it all..
i let him through for i lost my sense of direction perhaps that one day he might lead me to heaven of love.

tc

2011-05-19T12:36:00.000+08:00

take care..eat panadol...

awwwwweeeeee...

2011-05-18T03:29:00.000+08:00

Tiring days.im still struggling with two jobs-morning back to be a teacher and at night part time admin.It is very tiring. How i wished i should have listen.haiz..My aim is to collect as much money i could so that by next year i could take my degree..i wants to continue my study and i thought very very very hard,i think i should go for marketing under business.
i know many of my friends might disown me at this point of time.im sorry for ignoring you people but i think you people got it wrong.i did msg all of you to meet up but none of you reply.and all of you might think that im so busy with din but i think u r wrong cz he too busy with work.we only managed to spend time on sat n sun..haiz..i miss you gerls badly!!!im sorry



2011-04-29T22:29:00.000+08:00

with a heavy heart i sending you off,as i wiped my tears, i threw all the memories of us. i buried the hatchet. i will stay strong as promised but remember this i had never regret making u a part of me,someone i proud of having thou its heavy but i letting you go so that u can be happy..

wont say much

2011-04-26T07:21:00.000+08:00

congrats!!

always been you..

2011-04-17T23:05:00.000+08:00

A month and days had passed.But im still wishing that you are e 1 going through this battlefield of mine.The dream that we once shared had often visiting my mind- you are still e 1..but sad you chose not to wait, no more.

p/s: i miss u more than everything,if only...

teacher..teacher

2011-04-16T03:37:00.000+08:00

Everything is fine.Marking and giving grades is still a "ongoing" things, teaching and reaching out to the children is still something i working on.Its not the same as scolding kids in TRU and be able to walked away with it.Parents is also another issue.haiz,how i wished i was patient to give a second thought of being a teacher.Love been around kids and teaching and playing with them is totally different things.I hope i could get this over and done with.

how long more

2011-04-05T00:52:00.000+08:00

you miss my mum..i miss you even more.i dont know how long i can take it..EVeryone was right,you dont evn care about me why should i be crying blood for you..i dreamt of you every single day..it is driving me insane.!!!!...

4 P.M. - Sukiyaki

2011-04-01T07:48:00.000+08:00

im wishing you come back to me

Rossa - Hati Yang Kau Sakiti (Super HQ Audio/Video)

2011-03-28T21:45:00.000+08:00

Rossa-Terlalu Cinta

2011-03-22T15:59:00.000+08:00

「Bunga」 Ihsan (Apm 2008)

2011-03-21T09:37:00.000+08:00

2011-03-21T09:28:00.002+08:00

You move on with a new girl yes, if I don’t know I would have waited for you although you said you wouldn’t come back to me. But I still stand firm that perhaps you wanted time alone and concentrate with your new path of career. And yes all the promises, empty. I stood still with you for that 2 years which equals to you waiting for reconciliation but never once I walked away from you or turned my back on you when you need one. That same girl that you denied all along turns out that she was your new GF now. What was that?? So am I wrong to say that was a repeat telecast of 2 years ago?? Yes, I do have lots of guy friends and I been having out with them but none of them is my favourite. I enjoy being around them not because of intimate feeling like you always thinks but just a friend. Maybe it true like what a friend quote
“better be now than later”. Or “ Perasan itu hanya sesuatu pinjaman dari Dia, bila- bila masa sahaja ia boleh diambil balik”

I do not bear grudges toward you but at certain point sometimes I do really thinks that its time you really sit down and put on your thinking cap, put yourself in my shoes and reflects if that 2 years ago would not happened if you have put trust in me and listens to what I had to say. Not other people but me. All along people been saying something about you but I chose to listen to you and that why I still stood with you. And enough of what I had to say, I don’t want to be struggling each day to keep myself alive. You take care wherever you are; listen to what she had to say. For I willing to swallow the bitter of everything.

P/s: yes, I miss you and I had enough of you.

2011-02-27T04:17:00.002+08:00

i read ur blogspot..

from the start..it always been you..no one else..

2011-02-27T04:13:00.000+08:00

i miss you real bad!!!

2011-02-27T04:01:00.002+08:00

Regret..i regret for not listening to you..regret in all the steps i took..regret!!!

2010-09-22T01:45:00.003+08:00

YEAH!!!we are complete as one for this year..
A family blessed with love and happiness..
Thou my elder sis % bro- in-law wasn't able to join us
But we ended in their house at 10plus night.
THANK YOU ALLAH.

2010-09-22T01:30:00.003+08:00

Many things been constantly buzzing in my brain ;(
Work,project & U..
If only U could understand what i trying to bring across,
everything would be simple as A,B & Z.

p/s: i miss you.

Shontelle - Impossible

2010-07-08T02:25:00.002+08:00

i should...i should

2010-07-05T02:59:00.002+08:00

Just as i thought of giving up, u returned with that smile again..
Please dont go away...

2010-07-02T12:13:00.002+08:00

I got the truth the story for the sudden scolding..and the next morning, i suffered a terrible pain which i thought a curse for being rude to my bro-in-law.
None of us thought this would happen.
For that i forgive you for the unnecessary scolding which was meant for you..
And please stop being an ass and start thinking..!!!!!

Buckcherry-Sorry Lyrics

2010-07-01T13:04:00.000+08:00

2010-06-11T14:18:00.002+08:00

Sitting with many things running through my mind.
So many questions left unanswered.

2010-06-08T14:23:00.002+08:00

im so afraid of the future now that it getting nearer..
attachment is getting harder than it seems to be..
and school ending soon and im still unsure of my future..
what i wanna be..what i want to do...
no interest in anything is a BIG issue now..
all i know i want to be successful...but of what....
damn brain please function by the end of the year please!!!!
holiday getaway is so like near and 1 more coming this December..
and maybe in between theres 1 more..
i really need to save up..
real fast..
Bills!!!...so mlampau high..
hav to be thrifty now...

2010-06-03T16:02:00.002+08:00

Couldnt explain in words how much u meant to me..
just want things to be like we used to
miss all of that..
all of that

2010-05-23T01:46:00.004+08:00

DnD was awasome!!!Had a great day..I won myself a thermopot in a lucky draw..055 what a lucky number!!!..

2010-05-18T12:17:00.001+08:00

i miss you..

2010-05-18T12:01:00.002+08:00

How i wished that this smile would lasted for ever..
But no maybe i was naive then.
We had a talk and we had made an agreement..
We are just a normal friends like you were with the rest of your GIRL friends.
And again you insisted that i had to chose between him and you.but why??
Why do i had to forsake him for you??

And would you do the same if i asked you to chose between me and your secondary school friends??will you be able to do that?
No right..
I had never once talked about all this coz i know how much friendship meant alot for the both of us. Thou the hurt they inflicted on me was so great.
But must it always be you??

2010-05-13T14:19:00.001+08:00

im sorry for the harsh words..i love you.

2010-05-13T03:08:00.001+08:00

Please dont leave me..

2010-05-13T02:43:00.000+08:00

i need you!!

g0 aWay teaRs..

2010-05-13T00:25:00.003+08:00

i miss u badly..

2010-05-06T00:30:00.001+08:00

You r some kind of a bitch gerl!!I cant stand you no more!!!you getting on my nerves.!!fucker!!

2010-05-02T16:48:00.002+08:00

I dont know how im going to go through this..For everyone sake, i will cz there is sum1 out there who love me more than u do.If U LOVE ME, u wouldnt send that sms to me.thou it still hurt millions times more than the pain that i had to undergo THRICE, i will still forgive you. May ALLAH forgive you for the sins that you done and only HE knows what im going through and how much i wanna lay my fingers across your face..
thanks to my frens who being there for me..like i say only I know what type of guy he is..And as a gentleman, if you are the one that i meet on that Thur, you would also do the same thing that a frend would do, even the only mean of transport u had was a bike and a nice gf.
There are some promises that i promise out of unwillingness and there are some that i really meant it- growing old with you. I believe what goes ard willl eventually comes ard. A fren reminded me of that. Thanks for the reminder FARHANAH ABDUL RAHMAN.

Till Today, i still havent told my parents about us. I know they really love you so much. i dont have the courage yet but i will soon..

p/s i miss you

2010-05-02T16:23:00.002+08:00

Cheap??that term u describe me after the long years we been together??thank you..

2010-05-02T16:19:00.001+08:00

What were u thinking tt night??
i wonder...

2010-04-30T10:37:00.004+08:00

Hi..

Nice chatting with YOU, junior...no hard feeling i swear.. but isnt it better that u had a clear view of everything, rather listening to one party..but this things happened long long ago thou its still fresh in my mind.. .Yes. I HURT HIM..gd say.."what goes around comes around girl"..i know..

Hi..
dear YOU..
i hurt you..yes...i love u so much..very very much..promises..alot of promises..all of it..thou i pretended not to remember all..everything i remember clearly..how much i wanted us to grow old together..but memories are just memories..n i miss you so much..
thank you so much for all..and im sorry for not listening to you..i wont forget that very night how i cry so hard..still fresh in my mind..

2010-04-07T03:31:00.002+08:00

so many things happening..things wasnt that friendly now..every single things..
with school,the management sucks, money..

Many many things kept on spinning in my head
I dont know where my sense of direction going to..
At one point i be in very very high esteem and at another point i just be at the bottom of the sea sinking slowly and another point just felt like giving up..quit...

Im so confuse of what need to be done..im lost..
i need help..

2010-03-27T22:51:00.002+08:00

Serious girl in the day and ugly kid in the night.
My day started with being a match official at ST PATRICK SCHOOL in the morning.Everything went perfectly fine.I deserved a credit right? But of course everything wont be that perfect without my wonderful bestie, ELMA. Great game towards the end with SINGAPORE SPORTS SCHOOL beats Bedok View. It was a very strong fight.
And the rest of the day spent with shopping and cycling at east coast park..Two hours of cycling was a perfect getaway.As the winds blowing right to my face, i thought i was really over it. I wont say much on that. the speedy and me nearly bike-to-bike with the "abg"..other than that it was awesome day filled with relaxation of the mind..Really hope more of that..

p/s: i looked perfectly fine, dont i?

2010-03-24T03:22:00.002+08:00

Tattoos, piercing...is it consider a bad guy?
"Tudung",polite... is it consider a good guy?
How do we define a good guy or a bad guy???

2010-03-22T23:05:00.002+08:00

Ya it true..at a certain point of your life, when u think it enough, u would want to stop all this..
I feel it..

2010-03-17T01:07:00.004+08:00

what a awesome day today.!!! i love it so much..so happening.. Cant believe that we could made it for today.. We met up at Somerset.. I was late but Muz even more later than me. i think we are in the same cabin, but as usual i dnt have the courage to say "HI" or "HELLO"..damn me.
Initial plan was me and Suhana but Muz was in the msn conversation so we ask him along.. Den he ask Hajar along..
We met Juhanna,finally i took the courage to talk to her..she working at a condom store,try imagine me had to go up to her in that store to ask for a little chat and her number..in the condom store..!!!
We had our dinner at this NANA THAI..Muz treat us..that was gentleman of him..but in the end all of us forked up for his"drink".. We talked and asking more about each other..I wasnt that close to Hajar and Muz..so things are abit awkward.. We still talked to each other but all about HONG DAO!!!im from LI HUA ok..hehehe it was nice and nice.. We already plan for chalet this coming MAY...cant wait for that..

I miss my besties....gang giler..will update u all about our next apr outing.. oh ya..i miss SHAIKH ABDUL LATIFF...this old best friend of mine...haiz...

2010-03-10T02:33:00.002+08:00

confuse???confuse??
first we are then we are not..im so lost...
if u know we r y do we need the question mark again??
final words.."wish you happy"
haizz..

u know pe..if u keep askin me tt kind of qns..i will say "dnt know". but maybe this is what u wanting for,cz maybe u r thinking of a way to get away from all this messy love life but u dont wanna hurt me...
dnt forget i caught u twice...

2010-03-04T02:53:00.002+08:00

I not so sure if im ready to start anew with you..
u wanted it badly...
and y i had to discovered it now...
Im so frustrated..

2010-03-01T01:44:00.002+08:00

what' on my mind???
U tell me..
U went out with her, im not mad about that ok..
I was mad when u put down the phone on me when im not done..ok that clear..settled..you told me i say goodbye..ok fine...

The next thing..ur phone rings and u pretend not to know about it..but too bad i wasnt born yesterday like i told you..
u dnt want to pick up the phone...but y??
no secrets between you and her,..dn y tk nk angkat call???
tk masuk akal..takut that she will find out that u with me..
so i have done my part..i give way..
i did the right thing rite..

2010-02-23T12:38:00.004+08:00

Exam finally over..hopefully i be able to go to next round...haizz..
know what poly life is like a game with many rounds..if u r smart and fast, u be able to go to next round but if u r slow,u gonna stay on that round until u good at it..apparently i not that smart either i fast..just average brain who be able to get to the next round with a just a slight point.

Now is the time to party!!!!hahahahha..
Gonna enjoy my 1 month plus holidays with getaway to the beach with mr boifrend, mr best friend and my 24hr gila2 gang..cant wait for the the getaway..
i need my life back!!!
yearn for it since all the nonsensical things that been bothering my brain..
im not going to think abt it anymore...if he feel that the best way, i gonna angkat my kaki and jalan..
like KAKAK TOMB, said im pretty and there are many other boys who want me..hahaha...
klau tk laku pn tkpe.jadi je anak dara tua je la..hahhaa

I realli need my life back..although i may look normal deep dwn i knew im not..I thought no one will noticed until a dear friend told me that i should just rest and dnt think too much abt this.. i love u sister..thanx..

2010-02-20T02:20:00.003+08:00

hahaha..here come tag hater....
and thanz tag savior..hahhaa
i wont comment on that..

Its a love and hate kinda of relationship..We did have a talk on this yesterday....And for that i determined to change my behavior and same goes to him..he will stop being a Casanova...For many friends who know about us would know we had countless of breakup and end up getting back together..

2010-02-18T03:14:00.003+08:00

everything have come to light..me cheating on u??..!!!
sedar la ...too bad..i know everything now!!!
thanx..
u r hurt???which part??? bawah??!!!
sial nye jantan!!!
konon nye hurt!!!tapi msg org mentel2 la???gorgeousla??what the hell???
i miss your voicela..can add u kt msnla ke internet connection ada problem??what that!!!!!..wtfuck!!!

there u go ard telling ppl u r hurt!!!bcoz of me????
good u r got the job done..
u shld let ur bro and best friends read all that.. that disgusting words of urs!!!

at least i dont do the same thing as u do...text ppl like that...
konon nye terluka konon!!

2010-02-17T02:25:00.002+08:00

of all girls,y must it be her??
ok..who am I to be so mad with him??

though it hurts, deeply but this what i wished for you all along ..soon i will vanished and will soon be very very far away from you..my promise to you..no one will know where i will be other than my best friends and my love ones but not you..i promise..

Wishing you all the best..
Ya,it true what ur brother had said im ur ex, it better to move on..

p/s it takes time..slowly...

2010-02-15T01:20:00.002+08:00

i been giving excuses and till today i still do the same..
im so sorry for breaking ur heart time and again..
alot of lame excuses. u know it and me too..

for the very day, when people all over the world are celebrating their moments of love, but here we are going further away from each other...
6 years of friendship, love and hatred and many2 things that we had went thru will always been in my heart forever and ever..
our first fight in our secondary life...under my void deck..ya i clearly remember that..
the injuries we inflicted on each other, the police checking on us during month of Ramadhan, Hari Raya, camping,love songs..
so many many sweets dream..
thank you for everything..

p/s u r still e one...

2010-02-14T20:22:00.002+08:00

Yeah!!!its valentine day.. the sad thing i staying at home.no dates or whatsoever...
But i was greeted by a special sms...with Peng Hwee wishing me Gong Xi Fa Cai...hahah..like duh!!im not celebrating it.

im not trying to get myself in your gd book..that was just the way i sms..i reply to ur text and of coz to add in some hilarious joke..but that doesnt mean im trying to be harsh with you..so what all this about being nice.if i wasnt that nice i would say something when u talk about something and all this syg2 stuff..
i dont even know u why shld i syg2 u..that masuk akal kn.
and now simple text "u can choose to delete me or be friend" like as if im dying to be one of your friends!!..
u know what u r 30 yrs old and soon going to embark on a new career..go on dnt be petty on just small little thing..gonna ignore u tt what i plan to do!!!
wake up!!

2010-02-03T14:37:00.004+08:00

i had to chose one...i know..
Im a girl..
a nice girl should not be greedy right..
hehehe..

I cried coz i can bear the thought of you with sum1 new..
i cried coz i had to part with you..
i cried coz u r the only one..although i love to flirt around..i know...hehhe..
that wasnt flirting..it just a new way of communicating with another gender..hehhe..
ok im still can joke at this point of time..i crying ok while typing this.
merepek??!!..i know..i emo ok..leave me..hehehe..

we decided not to hold on each other any longer.we gonna move on..we gonna meet up like we used to..but as a friend..
haiz...

I met Diyana!!!! but i only realize it was her after i put dwn the phone..but i realize she turns her head first which mean she saw me right..so why shld i be e one to say "hi" first..it not abt the "hi" n bye..ok.if really we already forget about thing, at the very most she can turn and smile rite?..so sape yg sape ni??..
it always me..mentang2 la aku ni mcm laki..smua salah aku..urghhhh...forget it...we r longer friends pe sejak aku n haidir break up..so.forget it...

2010-01-25T22:55:00.002+08:00

emo..yes i emoing..is that a new word..i guess so..
I am sad alrite.
should i move on?
if i could
i would ever since we broke up..
am i a pathetic fool who keeps on ranting everything on this pathetic small space to relieve my anger,worry and unhappiness...i guess so..

im been living in this madness for a few months....i might go mad at any time soon..
do i looked like i happy with things as it is now..no..but what i can do, i am so afraid of losing you.
i cant go on with my story telling like i used to with you coz im so afraid of hurting and quarreling but what i can do if you insisted you are right.

My comments on FB why must it effects you..it is just a post and your own opinion and just a lame comment..or you have a better view on what is FB?
Boyfriend?..if i got 1 why would i be wasting my days with you especially on your two off days..i wouldnt be going out with you at night..why i dont wish to be your girlfriend???it is still a question mark in my head that include answering to your question on Zinal..

so what can i do...assumptions??? go ahead if you are happier..i quit alrite...

2010-01-18T02:56:00.002+08:00

I cant sleep..is it my fault???just wanna asked u to bring me out..a ride or something to make me talk and end up sleepy..that all..a few hours..what a lame excuses of malas nk klua alik..hello u know me n u know i am e type that dnt went to bed so early..n there u r forcing me to sleep..but when comes to spending with ur friends till 4 or 5 in the morning, that fine..wtf!!!
now when we be able to spend time,u complaint...
dnt bother me if i choose to spend time with my friends or Zinal!!!ok..im sorry but maybe im born to be an owl at nite.whereby ppl sleep n im still awake..

stupid lame excuses!!threatening what e hell..just reminding u...dnt complaint!!!

2010-01-14T03:18:00.003+08:00

i wanted you so much in my life even after we broke-up..but perhaps that is so much to ask for..i wont bother you no more..enjoy ur new start..the clubbing..shit!how much i hated you going there..smoking...dont know what will be the next..sex with some other girls..maybe since u had tried out clubbing which u used to hate it so much and how u fear for me everytime i got Toys R Us annual dinner there..n exchanging number with fb gerls n talking mental2 with this girls..im so out from this shit!!!
haiz..haiz..i just wanna sleep n stop crying!!!i started to hate u...!!!so much!!!liars!!!i wasnt born yesterday...!!!

2010-01-14T02:33:00.003+08:00

ya..couldnt sleep.i didnt attend school today..feeling a little down today..im hurt..sumhow i wonder is it my fault that things happening this way..im so troubled by love life..can sum1 give me a break..i really need one..
for a start, i reali wanted to spend my day with you cz i miss you so much..but u had agreed on the clubbing nite..

im doing my project..started on it for quite a while...nothing much about me other than the constant crying once in a while..gonna move on..!!!

2010-01-13T18:06:00.002+08:00

i prefers the "old you" not the "new you"..where is the pious man who always advice me on all the religious things and teaching me the rights..For once i took that perhaps you wanted to release some stress and tension by going out with friends to club. Yes u r not drinking.so where the saying that if really u r going there,it going to be one time and one time only..where is all the saying n now u told me this is the life u wanted to lead n lives after the broke-up..N u starts to put all blame on me.. what's this? n every week without fail, you would be going clubbing..so what it is about when u r lonely and all..
N now when u starts working earning thousand of dollars,you slowly forget ur own roots..every single penny u earn u started to spend all slowly on branded stuff...yet u told me "i havent brought u anything since the $200 plus jeans"..
its nt ur money i after for and the fact that u r working as a police officer..u can shower me with lots of expensive toys..VERSACE,LEVIS,TRIUMPH.. i may have all the expensive toys a normal person might have but i may not be happy...

i just want the same "old "you..

2010-01-13T04:01:00.005+08:00

i read ur blog..i know how hurt u r..i had never stop u from going out with me n btw almost all ur off days we spend the time together what more u want from me..matair???
i been treated u as 1 even though we r done..we been going out together,kissing n hugging still the same..called me a bitch if it please u..what more u expect from me???
yes i did u wrong thousand million more than u do..i apologise for that.i dont know.. the pain that been done is thousand more painful than what i did to u, esp with sum1 who i trusted WOULDNT do somthing like that..n now she over gaga with her new bf n u merana..so it is my fault???
stop blaming me!!!
all the guys that i ever hooked up with none of them is ur friends!!!none other than Fairuz..you had never known them.or wanted to get to know them...but the girl that you went gaga is sum1 i trusted...u understand me!!so u expect me to keep quiet n pretend nothing..am i born to be a stone or what..??
stop complaining!!!u felt lonely n what so ever..i had never stop u from fetching,sending or going out with me..never!!just that every Sat i just felt that i wanted to be with my friends that all,You can still fetch after that or go out with me..what reasons that i gave you..i just told u to stop ur drama mama.tt all..pretending to be mad or emo..u wanna fetch me..come sms me n mybe after lepak or what..tt all..

im mad cz of ur entries..its all about me!!!im not neglecting u bcoz of Zinal..He's been the one who r there for me when u r started ur stupid behaviour..so it is my fault??
u should be th one who stop n start thinking not me cz im done with all this....let just start everything fresh by just being a friend..alrite..i still love u..but pls stop all this..pls..

2010-01-13T03:16:00.004+08:00

Wanting so much to keep this friendship burning..our 6 yr of friendship..yes we broke up but that doesnt mean we cant be friend.. u continue with ur life and i with mine..tt all i ask for...nothing else.

dont want to lose you

2010-01-13T03:12:00.002+08:00

IM very very sorry..I dont really meant to yell at you..but i was pissed off at that very moment, tt y i rejected ur calls all the way..coz im still sucks in using this phone.and i wanted to reply to sms that point of time so out of anger i released on you..im so so so so so sorry!!!

2010-01-11T13:44:00.003+08:00

Friends..love them all...had the best moment with "them" yesterday.We watched movie "Sherlock Holmes". How was the movie? Great and filled with humors. The storyline: about this two friends who worked together to solve mystery cases about this black magic man. loved ..it..must watch it..nice one Although school been sucks lately but gonna put that aside..im going to enjoy myself while i working on it.still... Sumhow miss my bestie- the gila2 one..havent been meeting up with them ever since the "tulang"session.miss them...aishah starts school and Marrini a "new bf" and she's working on it.hopefully everything fine for her..Farhana had become the next "aishah" surrounded with mat saleh boi...hahahha..good for them...i had not heard from Rus and Elma n not forgetting DINda Uffiana...ever since the event..ya miss them to.. last week was awesome moment spending time with Haidir.. Ya although its over between us but i really dying to keep this burning friendship alive..We had known each other since secondary school.ya we watch the "avatar". it was a bit confused at first but after following it quite a while..about a human beings wants to cut down this tree house so that they be able to get the stone that cost a million..ya cool..the graphic, beautiful and bright colours, that was cool.enjoy it so much.. WE went makn..my treat n now im broke..like really broke..waiting for my Kerang treat..yum yum.. ok...love "him" so much..i do..

2010-01-10T04:00:00.002+08:00

im hungry..very hungry at this hour...i cant sleep.i lost e $10 dad passed to me before i went off to work.As im too lazy too queue to draw out my $, so i decided not to eat and instead shared drink with Zinal..and now when i really hungry, no food at home..haizzz..
And instead of sleeping,here i blogging unnecessary stuff..haizzz..i dont know what im thinking...so pathetic of me crying my heart out...

2010-01-08T02:36:00.002+08:00

If only i could share...
if only i could tell.....

would it be a different life for me...
or should
i just let go of all...
or should
i just keep it quiet till it dies off slowly...

2010-01-01T03:52:00.003+08:00

new year..ya happening...watching fireworks in the store..
miss watching fireworks..
after work going makan at simpang bedok..
trying to contact him but he wouldnt pick up the phone..sms also dnt reply..
he ready all out to cut me off his life..
good for him...hope someone will give him happiness...

dnt worry haidir if you r reading this, u may change your blogspot or change url,go ahead but u r welcome in reading my blog which is nothing happening with poor english grammar...if u want to know about my update ok..feel free..

2009-12-31T13:17:00.001+08:00

i miss you is all i can say..but nothing can happen right..nothing changed u n me..nothing